It All Began....

So I was telling Husband that I was about to post my first commentary on the life of a wife of a cyclist.

Husband said, " What are you going to say? " ( with a very frightened look, I may add.... )

"I'm going to write about the time you bought your bike."

" No. That wasn't your first experience with biking, hon."

" Oh?"

"No. Did you forget our trip to Prince Edward Island?"

Oh LORD. How could I forget that? Yes. I DID. Or, possibly I blocked it from my memory. But he was right. I had forgotten all about it.

I better start from the beginning.

Rewind.

It was about this time 14 years ago that we discovered that we were going to be parents. Considering that this was our first baby, and the first grandchild on both sides of our family, you can imagine how excited we all were.

" Your life as you know it will change forever", everyone told us.

So, we decided to make the most of our last summer alone and take a nice long vacation. My inlaws were going to help us out, considering we were still young and didnt have much in the lines of a "vacation fund."

What I didnt realize in my youth was the "help us out" meant "plan the vacation". Before I knew it, my father in law had booked reservations and secured a tour of Prince Edward Island for 10 days.

ON A BIKE.

http://www.pedalandseaadventures.com/pei-bike-tours.html

Now, I'm all for the beauty of nature. I'm all for the great outdoors. I'm all for fun family bike rides. But when I found out that I'd have to plant my pregnant ass on a bike seat for 40 miles a day for 10 solid days, I wasn't so sure I was into this "vacation".

Mind you, at this point I didn't even have a bicycle.

I was assured it would be ok. I was assured that there would be a car that I could ride in. I was assured that it would be leisurely and easy riding.

So, I said OK.

No one suggested that we possibly build up to riding 40 miles a day. Just that we buy a good bike. ( I got a pretty blue Cannondale mountain bike....to match my "outfits", of course... one must look good. )

No one told me about the 13 hour drive to the tip of Maine.

No one told me, either, about the ferry ride across the sound that I still get queasy thinking about.

And whoever mapped the damn trip out didnt know how to read a map. Prince Edward Island has LOTS of steep hills. "Leisurely" my ass.

And that was the beginning of the trip.

Now, I must say that Husband had never been around a pregnant woman. He had no idea what to expect. And, quite frankly , neither did I.

I never thought to school him on the fact that I could possibly become instantly and violently sick at the smell of seafood. Did you know that is almost all they eat on Prince Edward Island?

And I didn't think to tell him that pregnant girls need to eat WHEN THEY ARE HUNGRY.... or risk barfing up the last 6 meals in that beautiful field of lupines we are passing.

I didn't tell him that sweating and riding 40 miles a day ( for 10 days, mind you ) while pregnant makes a girl INCREDIBLY tired, and a tad bit cranky.

" Yes, sweetheart. You just rode 4o miles and you are tired. Give me a BREAK!!. You think you are tired???? I rode the same 40 miles and MADE A LUNG at the same time...don't freakin talk to ME about being tired! And to tell you the truth, NO. I don't care if I miss the house of Anne of Green Gables. I want a frickin hamburger. NOW!!!!"

I also recall a moment on this not-so-private getaway when I was feeling particularly ill. We were touring some little town, and all I wanted to do was go back to our bed and breakfast nearby and lie down for the afternoon. I told him, through the kind of tears a child gets when they have been throwing up for an hour, that I just could not go on any more and could he please take me back to our room.

I believe his exact words were, "Suck it up."

Ahh, my first lesson in endurance, perserverance, and 'working through the pain'.

Let me tell ya, Mr. Suck It Up learned right fast HIS first lesson in husband sensitivity. You don't tell a pregnant woman who has just seen her lunch from 2 hours prior displayed all over the beautiful cobblestones of Cavendish to "Suck It Up."

He finally got it.

Once I came to the realization that my mother in law had forgotten what it felt like to be pregnant ( which makes me question even more if Husband wasn't actually hatched or dropped here from Mars - that IS where men are from, you know ) and that 23 year old men and 60 year old men, or men in general, for that matter cannot empathize with a pregnant woman, and that as said pregnant woman, I could ask for ANYTHING I wanted and pretty much get it, the rest of the week went rather smoothly. Everyone stopped when I wanted to. We ate when I was hungry. We even carried food in the car for me...to satisfy my odd cravings.

I got home and talked about the uncomfortable-ness and the sickness. But now, as I look back on that trip, I can only remember the fun we had.

One of my very all time favorite pictures of the two of us is in front of a lighthouse on Prince Edward Island. I'm sitting on his lap, and he's wearing a bandana and his bike shorts...I'm in my biking bibs ...

I'd be happy to post it, but it would totally give away my identity. Which is a bummer because I look hot. ( as most girls do before giving birth multiple times......) And I like to revisit those days when I was younger, thinner, and, well, a babe. You know what I mean, ladies.

We look so happy in that picture. Little did I freakin know. I look at the photo and it is evident that I have no idea that the seed of biking has already been planted in Husband's soul and will lie dormant for another 10 years , until it rears its head and wreaks havoc on my mental well being and our marital bliss.

So, there you go. That was the beginning of the end for me. Ride the bike, puke in the lupines.

Here's my advice:
1. Don't go on vacation with your inlaws. ( that's all I'm sayin)
2. Educate your husband on what happens to her when a girl gets pregnant.
3. Get a SOFT seat if you are going to ride a bike while pregnant.
4. FLY to Prince Edward Island
5. Skip Anne of Green Gables and go eat a bacon double cheeseburger instead.
6. You will always look back after 13 years and think you look younger, skinnier, and hotter. In fact, you won't recognize the girl in the pictures with your husband. Nor will your kids.
7. You'll look at that pictures and not be able to remember what your life was like before you had children. Even if you try hard.
8. When you marry, remember that not only do you marry the man, but you marry all his crazy addictions as well.